


Falling

by tesrgone



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: M/M, season 2 and 3, spoilers for both seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tesrgone/pseuds/tesrgone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keller looks back on events that led him to fall for Beecher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Night After the Trap Was Sprung

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first piece of Oz fiction. I hope you like it. It was inspired by CatHeights' Emptiness. ~ ~ indicates dialog used from the series.

"It all started with that kiss," Keller said as he rubbed his hands over Beecher's bunk "That damn kiss. Everything was going so well up to that point. Why did it have to change? He's nothing but a fucking mark, for heaven's sake!"  


Keller rubbed his hand over his face as he looked out of his into the darkened quad. He thought back to the day he got that message from Schilinger. He hadn't even thought about the guy since he as back in Lardner, and why should he? The guy had made him his prag until he proved his true worth as a fighter. Sure the sex was okay, but that was another life time ago. He didn't give a fuck about Schilinger or his Aryan brothers. But he was going to Oz. He'd need someone to watch his back, and they were just as good as any other group.  


Of course, nothing comes for free in prison, but that was perfectly okay with Keller. All he had to do was to seduce some pansy-assed lawyer who didn't know his place in the scheme of things. If the guy was a prag with a lot of guilt, then it shouldn't be that hard to make Beecher his. Seduction was something Keller was very good at, and if the guy was good looking to boot he'd enjoy it while he was doing it. After all, that was the real reason he agreed to Vern's plan in the first place. Keller didn't care about destroying Tobias Beecher. He didn't care if that happened or not. All he wanted was the guy's unconditional surrender and then his unconditional love.  


Keller shook his head and laid down on his bunk. He placed his hands under his head.  


That's what he usually looked for in his cons. People were just marks to be used and then thrown away when done with. Of course he didn't always think that way. With each of his ex-wives, he had thought that they were different. But, in the end they weren't. Oh, sure, he still felt affection for them, but, after the sex went, Keller realized they were nothing but marks too. Love was something that only fools fall for, and Keller may have been many things, but he was no fool. Or was he?  
When Keller finally got to Oz, who should be the first prisner he should meet but Beecher himself. He was his sponser in Emerald City, and lucky for Keller he was to be Beecher's pod mate. Things couldn't have been better if he had planned things out himself.  


Keller smiled as he thought about his first words to Beecher. ~So you a fag?~  


~No. You?~  


~I do what I have to.~  


~Rats in the garden; catch them Towzer. Cows in the corn fields; run, boys, run. Cats in the cream pie; stop her now, sir. Fire in the mountains; run, boys, run.~  


Keller figureed Beecher must be a little crazy to spout shit like that, but he figured he could handle that. All he had to do was take it a little slowly, until he figured out just how crazy Beecher really was. Hell, knowing all the bull-shit Vern like to play with his prags, Keller figured anyone would end up a little crazy.  


Keller rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment before putting his hand back under his head.  


Keller had asked around and his guts told him it was just an act. If Beecher had been that crazy for real, he'd have ended up in the psych ward. Those crazy rhymes and biting off that guy's dick head was just to keep people at a distance.  


Keller smiled as he thought that that had been the first sign that should have told him that the was more to Beecher than he had thought at first. Biting off the tip of some guy's dick showed a lot of style he just had to admire. But did he pay any attention ot it? Hell, no! When it came to Beecher, Keller didn't always think things through.  


"Who am I kidding? When it comes to Beecher, I've let my dick do the thnking for me!"  


Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it? Keller admitted to himself that Beecher was a sexy mother fucker, but that hadn't bothered Keller. Hell, he figured that it would make the con all that easier, and with the way he and Vern had set up certain encounters just for Beecher's sake, it should have been easy to begin with.  


Keller sighed as he remembered breaking Mark Mack's nose. "That was the first step to getting Beecher to trust me."  


He remember how Beecher had come running out of the phone room to help him against the Aryans.  


~I owe you,~ Keller had told Beecher after everything had been broken up.  


~I didn't do it for you pal. I hate those Aryan fucks.~  


Keller hadn't care why Beecher had done it, just as long as he saw that Keller was against the Aryans too. The more Beecher saw them as in the same boat; the more he'd begin to trust Keller. That was what really mattered, and if Mark's nose got busted in the process, who cared? Keller definitely didn't.  


The next step came a couple days later in the shower room.  


~Look, when you helped me out the other day by the phones, I told you, 'I owe you.' See the way I figure it, you and me aren't like the rest of them: the Latinos, the homeboys, the Aryans. They all got each other, but you and me... You and me are standing out there with our dicks swinging in the wind. We should be able to rely on each other. You know.... Trust each other.~  


~Well, it's hard for me to trust somebody.~  


~Me too, but we got a fucking long time together. So, why don't we just see what happens, alright?~  


~Alright.~  


Keller chuckled as he thought about how intellectuals were the easiest to con. They thought too much, and it was that thinking that got them into so much trouble. Beecher was no different. All you had to do was to show them the reasonableness of your position, and they bought it hook, line and sinker. Keller smiled as he thought how easy it had been to get Beecher to trust him.  


Of course the third step was to get Beecher to see just how much Keller cared about him, and with Beecher's nightmares, Keller could always show that with ease. A caring touch here and a soothing word there, and he got the message across. Oh, sure, Beecher had told him to take his hands off him at first, but he soon got over that. Then the looks Beecher began to give to him. Keller alost grinned each time Becher showed him those puppy dog eyes. God, what a sucker.  


And then the fun part came. Keller reached down and rubbed his hand over his groin. He remembered how he began to teach that sexy mother fucker how to wrestle. Keller knew there were two reasons for this. First, he wanted to show Beecher how to defend himself. That way he'd gain a lot of confidnce in himself, confidence that could easily be destroyed when the chose to take the sucker down. But the greater reaon was to give Keller an excuse to get very close to Beecher. Beecher may say he was straight, but that fact didn't make much difference when it came to a guy like Keller. Get them into a socially aceptable situation where they both would get hot and sweaty, take most of their clothes off, with their hands all over each other, and the thoughts were bound t come up no matter how straight the guy was.  


It had worked out perfectly. The look Beecher gave him when he had Keller pinned how shown Keller just how much Beecher had wanted him. Of course it had work out just a little too perfectly. After all, Keller was just as affected by it as Beecher was, but that hadn't been too big of a problem. This wasn't the first time Keller had been attracted to a mark. It just made things all the more sweeter when the final act came about.  


Then the big bomb shell had dropped. Beecher's wife had killed herself. Keller knew a golden opprotunity when he saw one, and he was going to milk it for all it was worth. He just had to wait for the perfect opprotunity to exploit it, and that came about later that night.  


Keller had woken up in the middle of the night, hearing Beecher crying over the sink.  


~Beecher, what's the matter?~  


~I... I fucked up my life. I have completely fucked up my life. I'm all alone.~  


~No, you're not~ Keller got up and walked over to Beecher and placed his hands on Beecher's back. He rested his head against the back of Beecher's neck.  


~I'm all alone~  


~No, no you're not, man. No, you're not. It's all right.~ He paused. ~It's all right.~  


Keller trailed his hand down Beecher's arm and grabbed Beecher's dick through his boxers.  


Beechr shoved Keller back towards the bunks. ~Don't fucking touch me!~ Beecher then sank down to his knees, continuing to cry.  


Now that wasn't supposed to have happened. Keller had played this type of con enough to know that Beecher was supposed to have given into Keller's advances out of a need for a comforting touch. Oh, sure, Keller would've had to limit himself to plessuring Beecher, but that would have been okay. Once Beecher had felt just what Keller could do to him, he would eventually give into Keller's needs in time.  


Keller sat up and rubbed his face as he realized that that should have been another clue that things weren't going the way they should've been. Beecher was stronger and more aware of what was going on around him than Keller had given him credit for. If Keller was honest with himself, he knew that he even admired Beecher for his reaction. Beecher had a lot of guts. But Keller hadn't seen it that way. Instead, he chalked it off as a simple misjudging of he situation. He had made a mistake; that was all. Things would be okay. He'd just just have to take things a little more slowly.  


Besides, it was time for the final phase to begin. From the beginning Vern had insisted that he get Beecher to drink again. That way Beecher would lose his grip on things. Vern had been wrong on that point; Keller knew he was the key to getting Beecher to lose his grip on things. But did it matter in the end? If Vern wanted to get the guy drunk, he'd let Vern have his way. It didn't really matter to Keller, but he did know just how to get Beecher to drink again. All he had to do was to use that tatoo Vern had branded Beecher with. He would suggest that they change it into something more acceptable. Of course he knew Beecher would object. After all, changing that tatoo was bound to hurt, but he had a solution to that: some moonshine he had gotten from Vern.  


Keller shook his head as he remembered how Beecher had rejected that plan, but he wasn't bound to give up. Instead, he acted like he was pissed with himself for not thinking things through and hid the moonshine where Beecher could easily find it. Beecher had even called him cute. Keller had figure that sooner or later Beecher would drink the moonshine.  


But, no, it didn't happen that way. Beecher had proved he was stronger than Keller had given him credit for. By this time even Vern was getting annoyed with the situation. Keller figured that he'd just have to change the stakes up a little bit. He waited until Beecher had a visit with his kids to act. In the meantime he got Vern to get him another bottle of moonshine.  


"And that's when everything became fucked up," Keller said. "I shouldn't have done it, but what choice did I have? I knew Beecher wouldn't do it any other way."  


Keller got up and paced the room as he thought back to that day in the laundry room. He had waited for Beecher to get back from his visit with a half bottle of moonshine. It's wasn't hard to make Beecher to think he was drunk. Just as he susppected, Beecher was concerned that he'd get caught for the moonshine. The poor sucker didn't realized that he wanted to get caught, just not yet. He had one last little con to play on Beecher before he let that happen. In his concern, Beecher had asked him what was wrong, and Keller laid it on thick how he had had nothing in common with any of his ex-wives. Keller smiled as he thought Beecher had reacted to his claim that Bonnie was getting married again. As if he would actually care if they did. He could have any of them whenever he wanted them, so what would it matter if they had?  


But thnkfully Beecher didn't know that. Instead he came up to him and put his hands on Keller's shoulders. ~I love you~  


~I love you, Toby,~ Keller replied and standing up he kissed Beecher. It was light at first, but Keller deepened it as he pushed Beecher into the washers.  


That's when the hacks showed up. Now, Keller was ready to get caught. He deliberately threw the bottle at the window and got ready to fight the guards. Sure enough, they threw him into the hole.  


"That damn kiss!"  


As soon as his mind had cleared up, Keller knew things had changed. That kiss had been something he hadn't expected. It had been electric. Oh, sure, Keller had felt that before, but there was smething different. He could still feel the kiss. He got angry at himself. "It ws just a fucking kiss, just a lousy kiss." Beecher was supposed to feel this way, not him. It was all part of the con. He hadn't meant anything he had said or even that kiss.  


Or had he?  


Keller started to realize that just maybe he really had meant it. Maybe he was falling in love with Beecher too.  


But he couldn't allow himself to think those things. He knew that the first rule of the con was that you didn't fall for the mark, and after all was said and done that's all Beecher was - a mark. He had worked too hard and too long to get in good with Schilinger just to throw it all away for a lousy mark. So, he convinced himself that he was wrong. After all, hadn't been wrong about each of his ex-wives? He just had to be wrong this time too.  


Besides, he knew that eventually Beechr would find that other bottle of moonshine he had hidden under his pillow. He also knew that the longer he was in the hole; the more Beecher would miss him. It was just a matter of time before he drank the moonshine.  


So when he got back to their pod, it was no surprise that Beecher was drunk. At first, Keller had felt sad to see that his plan had worked, but he squashed that feelng and decided just to begin Beecher's destruction. There was no way that he was going to risk his feelings getting the best of him. If that mean Beecher had to suffer, so be it.  


Beecher greeted Keller as he entered the pod, putting his hands on Keller's shoulders. ~Ah, did you miss me? Christ, I missed you. Come on. Let's fuck.~  


Keller pushed him away. ~I don't want to fuck you, Beecher. I don't even want to be in the same room with you.~ He walked out of the pod.  


~Where are you going?~ Beecher replied as he followed Keller out of the pod. He grabbed one of Keller's arms. ~Chris.~  


~Hey, don't you be fucking touching me! Just go away!~  


~Are you mad at me? About something?~  


Keller's anger rose. ~Look, forget it.~  


~No, if I did something, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it.~  


~Keep your voice down, huh?~ Keller pulled Beecher to one side. ~I had a lot of time to think things through, and one of the things I decided is that you and me are through.~  


Keller ignored the hurt look in Beecher's face and walked away.  


Beecher followed. ~Jesus, what did I do?~  


"Look, we'll talk this over when you're sober.~  


~Chris, what did I do?~  


Keller turned to face him. ~Leave. Me. Alone.~  


~Look, if it's the drinking, I can stop. I can stop the drinking. I can.~ Beecher voice was pleading.  


Beecher grabbed Keller's arm again. Keller looked at Beecher's hand and then at the rest of the quad. He pushed Beecher down and went into the shower room. He waited until Beecher had gotten up and went back to their pod before he started to get undressed. He told himself that he wasn't going to let Beecher's reaction get to him. The sooner this whole thing was over, the better.  


Keller spent the rest of the day and the night ignoring Beecher. It wasn't easy. A part of him just wanted to comfort him, but he didn't let any of those emotions show on his face. Beecher was too smart to allow that mistake to go by.  


It was a relief to Keller that Vern agreed that it was time to push Beecher over the edge. Keller knew that this had to end quickly, or his feeling were going to fuck everything up.  


Keller went to the pod door and stared out at the quad as he thought about earlier that day. He and Vern waited in the gym until Metzger brought Beecher right into the trap. Keller closed his eyes as he remembered the look of betrayal on Beecher's face when he saw Keller with Schilinger.  


~Hey, Beech,~ Keller said as Beecher rushed at Keller and attacked him.  


~No, you....~  


Metzger grabbed Beecher off of Keller and held him in a headlock.  


~You fucking...~  


~Behave!~ Vern commanded.  


Keller grinned as Beecher asked him, ~You knew him?~  


~Oh' we've known each other for a long time.~ He reached an arm around Vern's shoulders. ~I've known Vern ever since we were up doing time in Lardner. I was seventeen, and he save my life from some big dumb nigger who wanted me to be his prag.~ He shook his head. ~No, I don't think so.~ Keller turned and kissed Vern on the cheek. ~I've owe him ever since.~  


Keller leaned closer to Beecher. ~I don't love you.~ He laughed. ~I've never loved you. Not even for a second.~ He pushed off of Beecher's face and backed off. ~Let him go.~  


~Ah, Chris,...~ Metzger hesitated.  


~No... No, let him go.~ Metzger let Beecher go, and Keller motioned him foreward. ~Let's see what yoou got there, Toby. This time for real.~  


Beecher rushed toward Keller and tackled him to the ground, but it was soon clear that Beecher was no match for Keller. Keller easily isolated one of Beecher's arms. He twisted it until it broke. Keller flinched as if he could still hear that break. "I'm so sorry, Toby," Keller whispered. He flinched again as he remembered Beecher's scream. Keller wished he could just forget the whole thing, but his mind kept playing the images as he reached for Beecher's other arm. He couldn't believe he had actually laughed along with Vern as he broke that arm as well. Then Beecher had screamed again. Keller dropped to his knees as he put his hands on the pod door. The images still came.  


~My turn now,~ Vern stated as he moved to Beecher's legs. ~Sieg hiel, baby. Sieg, fucking, hiel!~ Vern then broke each of Beecher's legs.  


Keller's whole body began to shake as he remembered leaving Beecher's broken body in the gym. "This isn't rght... it isn't fucking right! Beecher's just a mark. Why am I doing this?"  


Keller rosed as he realized that he would give anything to switch places with Beecher right now. "Who am I kidding?" He walked back over to his bunk. "I do love him, and I know I have just made the biggest mistake of my life." He laid down on the bed. "I will make it up to you, Toby; I swear I will."


	2. Solitare

Keller looked around his new cell as first the bars were closd behind him followed by the iron door in the solitary until. He then looked down t the blood on his wife beater. It was Toby's blood, and he remembered kneeling over Toby's body to protect him from any threats.  


"Toby," he whispered as he sat down on the bunk. "I hope you're doing okay."  


Keller sighed as he removed his shirt, remembering back to those eight weeks Toby was in the hospital, recovering from his broken arms and legs. He remembered thiking those weeks would never end. Each day he spent thinking and learning as much as he could about Toby and his past, and each night he dreamt of the day he destroyed the one he loved. It made him more determined to find some way - any way - to make things right to Toby and to show him that he really did love him.  


Keller smiled as he thought about the day Toby had gotten back. He could tell from the look in Toby's eyes that this wan't going to be easy. Keller remembered how scared he felt as he watched Toby climbing onto his own bunk. Keller knew he normally didn't get scared over dealing with people, but he couldn't help himself. This was too important - not that he'd admit it to anyone of course.  


~Beecher?~ Keller asked.  


~Yeah?~  


~Look...~ He took a deep breath. ~I know there's no reason for you to beleve me, but.... uh...~  


~You're sorry?~ Toby replied tauntingly.  


~Yeah.~  


~And you promise you'll never do it again?~  


"Look...~ Keller stood up and placed his hands on Toby's bunk. ~Toby, I'm serious.~  


~No doubt.~  


~The two months you were in the hospital, I had a lot of time to think.~  


~Of me?~  


~Look what I did was wrong. I've been trying to figure out a way to prove to you that I'm truly sorry, and that I do love you.~  


Toby merely laughed befroe suggesting, ~How about I fuck you in the ass?~  


Toby sure knew how to make things tough. Keller knew he'd give anything Toby wanted him to give, but not like this. He had thought about Toby fucking him while he had been away, just like he wanted to fuck Toby in return. But that would've been about love, not making Keller into Toby's prag.  


~Fuck... How about you break my arm?~ Keller suggested in return.  


~Mmmm... I'm going to do a shit load more than that.~  


~Break my arm. Break both my arms... and my legs. Break every fucking bone in my body. I'm not going to tell the hacks nothing.~  


~How stupid do you think I am?~ Toby shot back. ~You let me break your legs... And then you snitch on me.~  


~I won't. I swear.~  


~Swear. Promise. Take an oath. Make a vow.. Then go fuck yourself!~  


Keller nodded. ~Look, there's got to be something I can do.~  


~There is. There is one thing you can do that'll make me believe you're truly sorry.~  


~What's that?~  


~Confess... Tell McManus that you, Vern, and Schilinger attacked me.~  


~If I do that, they're going to cut off my balls.~  


~Oh, yeah, that's right.~ Toby chuckled.  


Keller couldn't believe Toby was being so vicious. ~Oh... hey... okay, mother fucker, what? You want a confession? You want a fucking cnfession? Okay, but I'm leaving Metzger and Schilinger out of it.~  


~Not good enough!~  


Keller couldn't believe Toby wanted everything from him. ~Alright, I'll tell McManus everything.~  


Tobhy smirked. ~I'll hold my breath.~  


~Fuck you, ya fuck!~  


It went against every fiber in his being, but Keller knew he had no choice but to tell that fuck McManus everything. If this was what Toby needed to trust him again; then, he would do it. Anything for Toby. Besides, did he really think Toby was going to make it easy for him? He wanted his pound of flesh, and he was going to get it. He just didn't know the lengths Toby was willing to go in order to get it.  


Keller shook his head as he thought back to protective custody. He had figured that, since he had done what Toby had asked him to do, things were going to be okay betwen them. He should've known better.  


He remembered going into their pod and putting his things away. Toby was brushing his teeth. Keller walked over and leaned next to the sink, caressing the back of Toby's neck.  


~Don't,~ Toby told him, pushing his arm away.  


Keller looked longingly at Toby. ~You realize that we've only kiss once? In all these months, once. All I've been thinking about is kissing you again.~ He reached up and grabbed the back of Toby's neck.  


Toby pushed him away again. ~Hey, I said don't.~  


~Beecher...~ Keller stated as he grabbed Toby's shirt and pushed back into the bunks. ~I did what you asked. I rat out Schilinger and Metzger. You know what that means? Toby, you know what that cost me?~  


Toby looked unconvinced. ~Unless this is just another scheme you and Schilinger cooked up. How am I supposed to trust you? Put myself in that position again? Be that vulnerable again?~ Toby shook his head.  


Keller definitely should've known better. Hadn't he learned that Toby was a lot stronger, a lot more determined than that? Keller knew Toby had wanted a lot more from him that just a simple confession. But what could he do to make Toby believe him? He'd just have to figure something else out.  


Keller laid down and laced his hand underneath his head as he remembered the day of his stabbing. He rememered being in that storage room, stacking copying paper. Then he remembered that sound he had heard. Keller turned out the lights and grabbed a pack of copying paper. He thought that he was ready for any attack that came his way. Of course, he didn't expect that the attack would come from behind. After all, only bitches attacked from behind, but that's exactly where it came from. He remembered an arm had reached around his neck, and then he felt the first stab in his back. He didn't have time to call out to anyone before the second stab came, and by that time all Keller could think of was survival. He didn't remember how long it took for him to be discovered; he didn't think it was fast enough. When he was found, remembered being rushed to the infirmary.  


Keller knew he had been lucky that day. Most likely the person who had done it hadn't really wanted to kill him. If they had, then they would've made sure he was dead before leaving him.  


At first, he had thought it had to have been Schilinger or someone sent by him to do the deed, but when McManus confronted Schilinger at it he denied it, saying if it had been him, Keller would've been dead. Keller had believed him. He wasn't sure why he did, but he did.  


Keller remembered how he had let go of it at the time. After all he had more important things to do. The only thing that had been important was getting Toby back, and while he was getting over his stab wounds, he had thought of the perfect way to do that. He'd get involved in Sister Pete's victim/offender program. He knew that Toby had trusted the nun, so he knew that she could convince Toby to get involed too.  


Keller laughed as he remembered how Toby had reacted to the news.  


~Keller,~ Toby said as he walked into their pod. ~I don't know what your scam is, buy I'm not buying it.~  


~What?~  


~Seeing Sister Pete today. Asking her if we could be in her program.~  


~No scam. Like I said, I want to make this right between us.~  


~How? I can't trust you! I can't even trust myself any more. My fucking feelings...~  


Keller's heart skipped a beat at that. So, Toby did have feelings for him. He just wasn't going to admit it - yet. There was hope, and Keller grabbed onto it. It was a beginning.  


"The ony thing I know for sure is this.~ Toby climbed onto his bunk. ~I'm going to get Schilinger.~  


Keller couldn't believe his ears. Finally a chance to help Toby out, to get into his good graces. ~I can help you with that.~  


~I don't need your help.~  


~What are you going to do?~ Keller asked skeptically. ~You're going to get that jizz bag all by yourself?~  


~Ask Metzger.~  


Keller chuckled at that. ~Oh yeah? You killed Metzger?~  


~You know when I hit Kathy Rockwell, when I had realized I had taken her life, I was full of remorse, full of self-loathing because I hadn't intended to kill her, but ah... Metzger.~ Toby sighed contentedly. ~Oh...~ He chuckled. ~That was sweet.~ Toby looked at Keller. ~You know what else was sweet? Sticking that shank into your back.~  


Keller froze. ~It was you?~  


~Never concidered that, huh? That it could've been me standing in the dark watching you stack copying paper. And then... BOOM, BOOM, baby.~ He punctuated his speech with movements of his hands holding an imaginary shank and sticking it into his other hand.  


~Toby, was it you?~  


~No. But for a second you believe it could've been. It could've been good old Toby.~  


~You didn't kill Metzger?~  


~Nah... How could a little pussy-ass bitch like me hurt anyone?~ But the look he gave Keller said otherwise.  


Keller didn't know what to think, so he just laid down on his bunk. ~Hey, Beecher, if you weren't in the storage room, how did you know I was shelving copying paper?~  


~Uh.... I don't know. Shit, maybe it was me.~  


Keller couldn't help but feel almost proud for what Toby had done to him. Oh, sure, he didn't like getting shanked in the back, but he had told Toby he could get back at him if that's what it took to prove he was sorry. Who knew the guy had it in him? And to kill Metzger too? Toby was definitely a lot tougher that anyone had thought him to be, and why shouldn't he be proud of that?  


Keller thought about how much more he loved Toby after getting that news. Well, after the shock had worn off, that is. Toby had stood up to him, and when was the last time had anyone done that to him? Keller was too slick for most people to stay angry at him, but not Toby. Toby always did what he had to do, no matter what.  


Keller smiled again as he thought about the wonderous gift they had all gotten. Andrew Schilinger had landed in Oz, and for some strange reason McManus had put him in Emerald City, away from daddy's protection. Keller and O'Riley couldn't understand why things had turned out the way they had, but more importantly they didn't know how exactly to take advantage of the situation. Keller felt another moment of pride when he remember how it was Toby who had come up with the plan they would use. They would do to little Andy what he and Vern had done to Toby.  


Keller didn't klnow how Toby could not only go through that again, but actually take the leading role in the matter. Keller had figured that that would've brought up too many memories for Toby to deal with. Keller guessed that was why he had watched Toby so closely..... Well, that and the fact that he couldn't stop thinking of Toby and getting Toby back.  


Keller smiled with pride as he remembered seeing Toby with Andrew. He was so smooth. Keller could almost believe Toby had carried out cons before, but he guessed that being a lawyer he had the necessary skills. Keller shook his head in disbelief as he thought about Toby having convinced McManus to move him out of his pod and moved Andrew in. He must have been really convincing to accomplish that, or McManus really wanted to screw over Schilinger by letting them have their way with Andrew. Keller still didn't know what the truth was, and he guessed he never would know it.  


But 'operation Andy' went as expected. Toby got the guy to trust him. Keller clenched his fists as a thought occured to him. Just how far had Toby gone with Andrew? He remembered how far he had been willing to with Toby during 'operation Toby.' Had Toby been willing to go to the same lengths? Keller remembered the nights he had watched his old pod just hoping to see what was going on. Keller remembered convincing himself that he was just worried that Toby would make a mistake and mess things up, but he realized that hadn't been the case. He was jealous with the thought of Toby doing things with Andrew. Toby was supposed to do them with him.  


Keller sat up and shook himself. He knew he mustn't think such things. Toby may not have trusted his feelings, but Keller knew that Toby loved him. He just wouldn't admit it at the time.  


Besides, it wasn't long before they had Andrew just where they wanted him. He remembered how they had paraded the boy for daddy Vern to see just exactly what they were doing. They knew that eventually he would do something to get Andrew away form them, and it really didn't take him long to do so. Keller remembered that Vern had actually had his own son sent to the hole. Then he got the hacks to give Andrew drugs just so the kid would overdose on them. Andrew ended up dead, and that was all that mattered in the end.  


Keller clentched his fists as he remember the next morning. He and Toby were in the caferteria. They were on their way to their seats.  


~I'm asking McManus to put me back into the pod,~Keller told Toby.  


~Don't.~  


~Why? Andy's not coming back any time soon.~ They sat down to eat. Keller grabbed Toby's thigh. ~You and me, Beecher.~  


~Please take your hand away!~  


Keller just grabbed Toby's thigh tighter. ~Beecher...~  


~Please! Take your fucking hand away!~  


Keller noticed some homeboy was looking at them. Keller turned his head towards him. ~What the fuck are you looking at?~  


He turned back to Toby and leaned closer to him. ~You wanted revenge on Schilinger. I helped you get that!~  


Toby looked at Keller. ~You did it for us?~  


Keller nodded. ~Oh, yeah...~  


~When are you going to figure it out? You and me..... We're never going to happen!~  


~You love me, Toby,~ Keller insisted.  


They both stood up. Before leaving,Toby had told him, ~Fuck my ass!~  


"Toby," Keller swore, "you're wrong about that. We are going to be together. I'm never going to give up on you. I know you love me, and I love you. Nothing is going to change that."  


That was the reason that Keller had kept going to see Sister Pete. He was going to try to get Toby back, and he'd do anything it took to do that. It was a shame he had to manipulate the nun to do that, but for Toby it was worth the effort.  


It wasn't like it had been that hard to do either. He smiled as he thought about it. It was, after all, one of his better cons. All he had to do was to get her to doubt herself, and then to think of him as something more than a client. It was too easy, and he had gone to great lengths to pull it off. He had invited each of his ex-wives over just so Sister Pete could check them out. He knew she couldn't help but check who had married him. And then there had been that piece of lint right over the nun's breast. Keller knew the simple act of removing it would get the nun to think of him touching her, thinking of him in a longing way.  


But, even that plan didn't work out that smoothly. Keller remembered back to their last session together. He hadn't expected he'd have to reveal so much to her.  


He remembered Sister Pete leaning over his desk towards him. ~I just want to know why you did what you did to Beecher.~  


~You saw my ex Bonnie? When I had met her, she was all alone - very unhappy. So, I knew it would be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know, after I broke her heart, would she still love me? You see, I'm a piece of shit. I am.... worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me no matter how bad...~ He paused for a second. ~You happy now?~ He smiled. ~You got me to open up, to spill my guts all over yor table.~ He nodded his head. ~Breakthough.~  


~So you went along with Beecher not in the name of the Aryan brotherhood, but to see if he would love you no matter what?~  


Keller smiled again as he looked off into space before he turned back to Sister Pete. ~At first I wanted unconditional surrender. Then, I wanted unconditional love, but Beecher don't love me.~  


~And that's killing you inside.~  


After a long pause, he finally answered, ~Yeah.~  


Keller knew that it was tearing him up inside. For once he had been completely honest with her, but he remembered he was going through a lot of pain back then. He remembered how seeing Beecher tearing himself up with the guilt over his involvement with the death of Andrew Schilinger was tearing him up as well. It was killing him to see Toby in so much pain. He was different than anyone else Keller knew. He could dish out vengence with the best of them, but he would feel remorse over it when it came to carrying it out on someone who was innocent. It frustrated Keller. How was he supposed to deal someone who was made up of so many contradictions? After all, it wasn't that good to be like that in a place like Oz.  


But what had frustrated him even more was the fact that Beecher reached out to Said instead of him. Keller would have given anything to help Toby out, but he hadn't even given him a chance. And Toby had the nerve to move Said into their pod. How could he get Toby to see they were meant for each other when Toby didn't do what he was supposed to do?  


Keller sighed with frustration as he remembered the final days of his con with Sister Pete. It had gone so smoothly. He had used the excuse that he had reveal too much to not see her again. Of course things were just going too smoothly, and that's when everything had gone wrong.  


First it was Toby getting involved. Keller remembered the angry look on Toby's face when he had come into his pod that day.  


~What's going on with you and Sister Peter Marie?~ Toby had asked him.  


~Going on?~ Keller asked innocently.  


~You've missed two appointments, and she's a mess!~  


~Um.... I don't know what you're talking about.~  


~If you're going to fuck with her, I'm going to fuck with you.~ He paused as he let that sink in. ~Fuckin bitch!~ Toby left the pod.  


Keller hadn't thought about the incident before Sister Pete herself had shown up. If he had, maybe he would be better prepared when she did.  


~Chris,~ she said.  


~Hey there, sister.~  


~Can I talk to you?~  


~Sure, let's go in here.~ He led her into his pod. She got right down to business. ~You missed your last two sessions. Why?~  


~Ever since our last session when you got me to open up, I've been afraid to come back. Afraid to expose any more of myself to you.~ Keller smiled. ~The reality is, sister, that I hate myself.~  


~All the more reason you should've come to me.~  


Keller really didn't want this conversation at that moment. His mind was definitely on his desire for Toby. He had even looked over at Toby who was making sure that things were going okay with Sister Pete. Maybe that's why he didn't even realize the mistake he was going to make. ~You're probably right.~ He turned back to the nun. ~Do you know what it's like to want somebody? To long for them.... and I'm not talking about sex. Just to touch them?~  


Nodding, the sister told him, ~Yeah.~  


~Of course, you do. You're a psychologist. You're a nun. But you're a woman first.~ He leaned in closer to her. ~You know about desire.~  


Of course that was just when officer Murphy just had to come along, checking up on the nun. He broke the fucking spell! 

~Evrything all right in there, sister?~  


~I'm fine.~ Keller moved away from her. ~I can help you, Chris.~  


~Sure you can. Talk to Beecher. Counsel him. Convince him.~  


~Tell him that you love him; that he loves you?~  


~Um, um.~  


~And that's what this has all been about, hasn't it? The sessions, the questions about my personal life, getting me to care. So, I can help you reach Beecher?~  


~You can do it. He trusts you.~  


~And you still don't see it, do you? That's the whole problem, Chris. He trusted you. You broke his trust, and now he can't trust you again.~  


~Yeah, but I've changed!~  


~Have you? You manipulated me the way you minipulated him.~ She sighed ~And now I don't trust you any more.~  


He remembered laughing at the time, but all he could do now is groan. If he hadn't been that honest with her, maybe he could've worked things out, but he had blown it instead. Keller hit the bed with his fist as he remembeed how he been running out of options at that point. But he didn't give up. He was never going to give up getting Toby back. That was something he never was going to do.  


He needed Toby in a way he had never needed anyone else. Keller had been surprise when he had figured that out, but it didn't seem that much of a surprise to him now. Every time he turned around, Toby kept surprising him with his strength, his courage, his ability to resist even him. Keller knew just how charming he could be, so it didn't make any sense why Toby kept resisting him. He had changed for the guy. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't Toby see that he loved him in return?  


Keller rubbed his hands over his face as he remembered how hopeless things were becoming. Every time he tried to get close to Toby, Toby just sent him away. Even when it was clear that he and Said needed someone to watch their back. Did Toby hate him so much that he was willing to risk everything just so he could stay away from Keller? It made no sense to Keller.  


But that didn't mean that he was giving up on Toby. He just didn't know what he could do to get back into Toby's good graces. Of course, he was totally surpised when Toby had come to him in the computer lab. He remembered he was trying to research his g.e.d. on the internet. Things weren't going that well for him when, in frustration, he finally just whacked the computer.  


~That's not how you do it,~ Toby told him as he entered the room. He just pressed a few buttons, and the problem cleared right up.  


Keller chuckled at how smart Toby was. ~Oh, fuck.~ He turned around to face Toby. ~I.... uh... I loved Said's floor show out there.~  


~I want to talk to you.~  


Keller waved his hand. ~Alright, what?~  


~Said is helping me see things a whole lot clearer, Chris, and...~  


Keller just loved hearing Toby say his name. ~Chris... Chris...~  


Toby tooked a deep breath. ~I forgive you, and I ask you to forgive me.~  


Keller stood and hugged Toby. He smiled as he had finally gotten what he had been after all this time. Toby then hugged him back ~I love you,~ he told Toby.  


~I love you,~ Toby told him right back.  


Finally he had heard those words he had been dying to hear Toby tell him. He loved me. Keller still couldn't believe the impact those words had on him. His whole body just tingled at the thought.  


But that wasn't enough. He wanted Toby completely. ~Kiss me,~ Keller said as he kissed Toby on the cheek.  


Toby didn't kliss him. Instead he pulled away and gave Keller that Muslim saying before walking away from him.  


Keller growled. That wasn't supposed to have happened. Once Toby exclaimed his love for him, he was supposed to give himself to Keller completely. What was the point of Toby loving him if nothing was going to happen as a result? Things would not - could not - stay this way! If Said was going to become an obsticle between Toby and him, then something had to be done about him. Said helping Toby out was bad enough, but having Said and his fucked up ideas preventing Toby from being with him was something altogether different.  


Keller knew just what to do. That morning, he went looking for O'Riley. Even if he had to buy the guy off, he was going to get someone to help him take Said down. With Said out of the way, he knew he could convince Toby to give into his advances. He was so close to his goal; he could just taste the outcome. It was within his grasp.  


But O'Riley wouldn't help him out. Instead he pointed out that the Aryans were going to take out Sad for him.  


As they looked over at the enterance to the gym, they both saw Said and Toby enter. O'Riley figured that the Ayrans were going to take out Said right at that moment. But Keller stopped paying attention once he saw Toby approaching Schilinger.  


What was he thinking? Keller's heart stopped as he heard Toby wanting to be forgiven for his role in Andrew's death. Toby couldn't be that blind, could he? Did he really think that Schilinger would actually forgive him?  


Keller felt as if he were frozen. He couldn't stop watching Toby as things got increasingly worse. He wanted to shout out to Toby to watch his back, but he couldn't move a muscle. That's when he saw Schilinger pull out his shank and go after Toby. Toby knocked with the shank away from him with his cane and then he knocked Schilinger down. That was when all hell broke loose. Finally free, Keller knew that the only thimg he could do was to keep people away from Toby. No one was going to touch him, but there were too much chaos going on for him to keep his eyes on Toby. He remembered the sickening feeling he got in his stomach as he saw Schilinger stab Toby. Hate filled his brain as he ran toward Schilinger. That fucker was going to pay for hurting Toby. Keller remembered with satisfaction how it had felt to stab that creep in the side.  


But he didn't waste any time on that feeling. Instead, Keller rushed over to Toby and covered him with his body. He placed a hand over the wound to stop the bleeding. He then looked around him to see if there were any more threats coming their way. That was why he didn't noticed the S.O.R.T. team until they knocked him off Toby. He didn't care that he got hurt. All he could do was watch as they sorted things out.  


He had wanted to go with Toby to the infirmary, but that wasn't going to happen. Instead they locked him, Said, and Khan up in solitary.  


Keller stood up and began to pace. "I swear, Toby, I'll do anything it takes to get you back."


	3. Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story now switches from looking at the past to current events. This chapter was harder for me to write as I had never written a sex scene before.

God, it had felt like they had been kept in solitary forever before they were released back to Em City. The first thing Keller did was to see if Toby had gotten back from the hospital yet. He couldn't believe his luck when he found Toby coming out of McManus's office across the quad. Of course, he'd play it cool as he leaned on the railing just looking at Toby.  


~Hey,~ Toby said as he walked over to the railing opposite Keller.  


Keller smiled slightly. ~You're back.~  


~Yeah, so are you.~  


~Yeah,~ Keller said, nodding his head. He smile widened. ~You feeling better?~  


Toby nodded. ~I'm alive.... Thanks to you.~  


Keller got up to walk away. As long as Toby was safe, Keller figured things were going to be okay. He didn't want to pressure Toby just yet. He was too cool for that. He figured that if he gave Toby some space - not too much, mind you - Toby would want to be with him again.  


But Toby wasn't finished. ~Keller... I just asked McManus to let you be my roommate again.~  


Keller just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything else. He wasn't going to blow this opprotunity. Not when Toby had given exactly what he wanted.  


But he was sacred too. He just had to make things right for Toby. Keller figured that he should just wait and play it cool until he got move back into their pod and lights went out before he made his move. He couldn't explain it to himself but he just knew Toby was going to be nervous about this whole thing. After all, the last time he had been with a man he was Vern's prag. Keller knew he had to show Toby that things could be a whole lot different with him, that being with a man could feel fucking fantastic. After all he had been Vern's prag back in Lardner, but with his open sexuality it hadn't been that bad for him. He knew that Toby's experience had been different. He hadn't been prepared for anyone like Vern. The way Toby had talked about it; it had been brutal to say the least. Keller knew he was gonig to have to take things slowly with Toby, to let Toby get comfortable with him.  


But that didn't matter to Keller. He could take it as slowly or as quickly as Toby wanted it. Just as long as he was with Toby. That was all that mattered to Keller.  


Of course knowing that he was willing to wait for the right moment and actually waiting it out were two different things. The waiting seemed to take forever, and he began to be scared that Toby was waiting for him to make his move. He didn't want Toby to think this was just another con. That would not be acceptable. But he kept telling himself that he had waiting all this time for this moment, that he could wait until lights out.  


When the light finally did go out, Keller found himself at the sink, washing his face. He looked into the mirror and saw Toby was reclining on his bunk, one hand playing with his hair.  


~Happy New Year,~ Toby told him.  


~Happy New Year,~ Keller replied back. He rubbed his hands over his face one last time before he turned around.  


Toby hopped off his bunk and leaned against the bunks. They looked at each other for a second before Toby closed his eyes. Keller moved closer, stopping only when Toby rached out and placed his hand on Keller's chest. Keller paused as he pressed his forhead to Toby's. He then placed his hands on either side of Toby's chest.  


Toby winced a bit before he put his hand around the back of Keller's neck. He pulled Keller into a kiss before placing his other hand on Keller's face. They moved their arms around each other as the kiss deepened.  


Keller didn't want this moment to end as he pushed Toby's lips apart. He explored Toby's mouth before massaging Toby's willing tongue.  


"You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered. He looked into Toby eyes again as he reached down to the bottom of Toby's shirt. "I'm going to make you feel so fucking good. Do you trust me, Toby?"  


Toby nodded as he leaned into Keller, kissing him again.  


Keller couldn't believe how electric kissing Toby had felt. He knew he could spend all night just standing here kissing Toby, but he had other plans in mind. He broke that kiss and smiled at Toby. "Why don't we get out of these clothes? They're kinda in the way."  


Toby returned the smile as he lifted his arms so Keller could take off his shirt. Then Toby did the same to Keller's wife beater. Once it was removed he caressed Keller's chest.  


Keller groaned as he closed his eyes for a moment. He then grinned as he reached for Toby's boxers. As they dropped to the floor, he grabbed Toby's arms and coaxed into the lower bunk. He paused a he took off his own boxers before he climbed on top of Toby. He moved in for another kiss as he caressed Toby's arms.  


Toby placed his hands on Keller's face as the kiss deepened. He moaned. Keller moved to Toby's neck. He grinned as Toby arched his neck.  


"You like that?" Keller bit Toby's neck, and growled when Toby moaned agin. He then kissed his way down to one of Toby's nipples. He licked around the nipple until it got hard. He lightly sucked on it as he pinched the other nipple.  


"Oh, god, that feels good," Toby moaned.  


Keler chuckled as he moved his mouth over to the other nipple. He moved his hand over to the first nipple and pinched that one. He then lightly nipped the nipple before moving down Toby's body, leaving kisses along the way. He reached Toby's golden trail and licked his way down to the pubic hair. Keller looked up at his love's face. He smrked at the look of pleasure he found there.  


Toby groaned as Keller moved back up Toby's chest. He kissed Toby deeply again. Then he moved back to the other side of Toby's neck using his tongue, Keller trailed down Toby's chest until he reached Toby's pubic hair. He took a deep breath, breathing in Toby's scent.  


Keller used his hands to move Toby's legs apart.He hovered over Toby's cock. "Is this what you want, Toby?"  


"Yes," Toby moaned as he ran his hands through Keller's hair.  


Keller smirked as he thought about it for a second. "I don't think you're ready for that yet." Keller moved his mouth over to Toby's right thigh. He licked his down and then back up to Toby's crotch. He nipped the thigh before moving over to the other thigh. He repeated his movements.  


He then put his hands on each thigh as he moved to Toby's balls. He leaned down and ran his tongue over the ball sack. He took one of the balls into his mouth and lightly sucked it.  


Toby arched his back and moaned. "Oh, god, yes!"  


Keller moved onto the other ball and lightly sucked on that one. He then moved back up to kiss Toby.  


He rose up onto his hands. "Do you think you're ready now?"  


Toby looked up at him, longingly. "Oh, please, Chris, please."  


Keller merely smirked. "You didn't answer my question."  


Toby snorted. "Would it do any good? Or would you just think I'm not ready yet?"  


Keller paused as if considering that. He smiled. "I'm not moving an inch until you do."  


"Oh, god, Chris! Would you just suck my dick?"  


Keller chuckled as he remained where he was. "Well?"  


Toby grabbed Keller's face and pulled him down. He kissed him "Yes, " he moaned into Keller's mouth.  


Keller moved down and took Toby's dick in one hand. He bent down and licked around the head. He then took the rest of the shaft into his mouth. He proceed to suck, altering between a fast pace and then a slower one. Toby's grabbed his head and began to thrust into his mouth. Keller grabbed his ass and let Toby have his way until he felt Toby's cock spasm and shoot his cum down Keller's throat.  


Keller smiled and moved back up Toby's body. He kissed Toby before he begin to grind his pelvis against Toby. "Oh, Toby," he moaned as he quickly came over their stomachs.  


Keller briefly kissed Toby before he got off the bunk and headed over to the sink to clean himself off.  


Toby followed him to the sink. He placed his hands on Keller's shoulders. He leaned into and kissed the back of Keller's neck. "I love you, Chris."  


Keller turned around and smiled. "I love you too, you sexy thing"  


Toby walked around Keller to clean himself off too.  


Keller turned toward the pod door. He saw the hack moving along the opposite side of the quad. "Hack's coming," he told Toby before returning to his bunk.  


Toby looked out the door too. "Well, good night," he said as he climbed onto his own bunk.  


"Yeah, good night." Keller rolled onto his side before falling to sleep.  


The next day, Keller and Toby played games of chess an cards - anything to keep them busy. They flirted with each other and stole kisses whenever the hacks weren't looking. The day seemed to pass quickly.  


After dinner, Toby leaned into Keller for a deep kiss. He grabbed Keller's shoulders as Keller tried to break the kiss. Toby was having none of that. He keep kissing Keller until they heard a sharp bang on their pod door. Without looking at the hack, they moved apart.  


"Are you trying to get sent to the hole?" Keller asked as he shook his head.  


Toby just stared at Keller before he stood up and moved in front of Keller, leaning on the top bunk. His look at Keller was full of hunger. "No, I just wanted to make a point. I know what you were doing last night, Chris, and I did appreciate it. But it wasn't necessary."  


Keller acted confussed. He wasn't bound to give anything away. He didn't want to be seen as manipulating Toby, even if it was for a good cause. "I don't know what you're talking about," he finally said.  


Toby knelt down. "Yeah, you do. You were trying to make everything right last night." He paused. "As if I needed convincing that I had made the right decision in letting you back into my life. As if somehow I couldn't get pass what Schilinger had done to me." He reached out to caress Keller's face. "Chris, I was scared last night, but not for those reasons. I have never felt this way about a man before, and that's what scared me. As for you, when you knelt over me after I got stabbed, protecting me, I knew everything I needed to know about just how much you loved me. I love you, Chris, and nothing is ever going to change that." He smiled. "I also want you, but the whole you. Not just what you showed me. Now, don't get me wrong; last night was amazing. But you didn't give me any chance to do anything to you," He grabbed Keller's knee. "Tonight's going to be all about you."  


Keller grinned. "Oh, yeah?"  


Toby leered at him "Oh, yeah!"  


"And just what are you going to do to me?"  


"I'm going to taste every part of your body with my tongue before I take that dick of yours into my mouth. I'm going to suck it very slowly, but I'm not going to let you cum."  


"No?'  


Toby shook his head. "No. In stead I'm going t let you cool down while I kiss you."  


"And then?' Keller's beath was short.  


Toby got up and went to the trunk and took out a bottle of lotion. "I'm going to rub this onto that massive cock of yours." He returned to kneeling in front of Keller. "Then I'm going to mount it, and ride until you shoot your wad deep inside me."  


"Is that so?"  


"You bet I am."  


"I didn't think you would want to do anything like that after what Schilinger did to you."  


Toby chuckled. "You're not Schilinger, and I've wanted to feel you inside me ever since I first kissed you."  


"You don't have to do that to please me, Toby." Keller said as he looked down.  


"I know I don't, but I'm going to do it anyway." Toby lifted Chris's chin so he was facing him. "Beside, I won't be done with you then."  


Keller smirked. "Oh, no? What are you going to do to me then?"  


Toby licked his lips. "I'm take this lotion, and...."  


"And what, Toby?"  


"I'm going to grease up my fingers, and then I'm going finger fuck you until you beg me to fuck for real."  


Keller shook his head. "Toby, I don't beg for things."  


Toby grinned. "After what you pulled last night, you are going to beg." He leaned into him. "And you're going to love it."  


Keller shuddered and raised his hands in surrender. "We better stop this right now, Toby. You keep going on like this, and I'm going to take you right now regardless of what the hacks try to do."  


Toby got up and kissed Keller on the forehead. "Now who's looking to get himself sent to the hole? You'll just have to wait unil lights out, lover boy." Toby climbed onto his bunk and grabbed a book to read.  


Keller sighed as he laid back onto his own bunk. He laced his hands bahind his head and smiled up at the top bunk. "Finally that man is all mine," Keller thought to himself. "Who knew he was going to this wild? Even Bonnie wasn't this wild. And he's all mine, and nothing and no one is going to take him away from me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this story. Comments would definitely be appreciated as I've never posted any other story on line before I posted here.

**Author's Note:**

> commemts would be appreciated.


End file.
